Fifteen years ago, a friend's mother watched as I spooned three teaspoons of sugar into my mug of tea. I adored her, and generally she adored me back. This day, she raised her eyebrows at me across the kitchen table.

"Three?" she said, more surprised than judgmental. I shrugged. I'd always had a sweet tooth, and I'd never given it a second thought. I delighted in digging my spoon into the soft hill of white crystals. A full sugar bowl felt like a kind of abundance. And the taste, from the first soothing sip to the last, was heaven.

It would become an inside joke, her knowledge of my little quirk. But from that day forward, I grew increasingly self-conscious about my three spoonfuls. I began to view my nightly forays into some sweet or another (dark chocolate, creme brulee, Twizzlers) with a more questioning eye.

The nature of my relationship with sugar -- intimate, dependent, and cloaked in mystery (or, some would say, denial) -- is not unusual. "We like intense experiences that feel pleasurable," says Marc David, a nutritional psychologist and founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating, in Boulder, Colorado. "Of course, you want to repeat that experience. Your body becomes habituated to that pleasure spike." Even those of us who know the health implications of excessive sugar intake (extra inches around the waistline, chronic illness down the road) struggle to shake the habit.

Luckily, there's hope for me and fellow fans of the sweet stuff, and it all starts with awareness. Sugar has powerful biological and emotional effects on us, and by understanding why we turn to sugar in the first place, we can employ practical strategies for improving our relationship with it. As I've discovered, it's not about eliminating sugar altogether. Rather, by getting more conscious of our habits, modifying intake, and enjoying the sweet treats we do have, we can do a world of good for our mood, energy levels, weight, and overall health.

Sugar High
Physiologically, we're set up to crave sweets. The flavor meant survival for our ancestors, because sweet foods have the most calories, explains John Bagnulo, Ph.D., clinical nutritionist at the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health in Stockbridge, Massachusetts. To this day, a majority of our taste buds detect sweetness. When they register sugar, they release endorphins. And sugar in our bloodstream eventually tells our bodies to release the feel-good chemical serotonin.

"Sugar makes us mildly euphoric," says Bagnulo. But it also has an immediate calming effect, which explains why we automatically reach for sweets when we are stressed or tired, two feelings that are often accompanied by low serotonin levels, says Beth Reardon, an integrative nutritionist at Duke Medical Center. Sugar can provide instant (though often fleeting) balance and comfort.

Recent studies have also shown spikes of another neurotransmitter, dopamine, when blood sugar levels increase. Dopamine enhances our feeling of satisfaction or satiety after a meal, says Reardon. (No wonder dinner doesn't seem complete without dessert.) Surges of dopamine and serotonin, however, go hand in hand with a rise in insulin. That's where the health problems begin, particularly if we're turning to refined sugars, found in candies, baked goods, and sodas.

To balance insulin levels, the adrenal glands release hormones that increase inflammation in the body. Over time, this inflammation can become chronic, contributing to conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, and certain types of cancer. More immediately, hormonal swings affect our mood. The more sugar we consume, the higher we peak and the harder we crash. We end up feeding a cycle as we seek the instant gratification we get from dopamine and serotonin.

Our instinctive love of sweets can't be explained by pure chemistry, however. Cultural and emotional associations, both happy and sad, affect our habits, too, says Reardon. Pharmacists used to pass out lollipops with medicine; we were soothed by mom's apple pie or chocolate-chip cookies. "These learned associations and happy memories reinforce the physiological effects," she says. "We still go for that."

There's nothing wrong with occasionally turning to sweets for comfort. "It's a problem when it becomes unconscious and chronic," says David. Then we overdo it -- and can even grow dependent. "We often look to [sugar] to give us pleasure, rather than searching for it in other parts of our lives," says Reardon. "Instead of seeking out what we really need, we go for what's within arm's reach, because we know it will make us feel good."