When I was about 9, I gave up on creating art. I just couldn't get things to work. Like sports, which required proficiency in hand-eye coordination, art demanded skills that I didn't seem to have. 

Then, as an adult, a burbling desire to make something began to nag me. I eagerly bought blank shadow boxes and watercolor pencils -- but after playing with these once or twice, I stuck them on the shelf. The pottery class I tried also ended in disappointment. Seven weeks' effort resulted in just one small bowl. I felt doomed. 

Things changed recently, though, when I facilitated a self-care retreat in which artist and creative life coach Noelle Remington led a collaging workshop that helped illuminate our inner worlds. Imagine my surprise when I found myself completely engrossed in a luscious morning of creative play -- and, even more stunning, satisfied with what I made. My newfound curiosity continued at a Tibetan Buddhist meditation retreat that involved art, again for the sake of self-expression. Then a minor miracle: One Sunday I found myself creating an assemblage in one of those shadow boxes I had bought years before. It seemed that certain synapses in my brain and soul had finally connected. 

As my interest in art deepened, I noticed that I wasn't alone. Many of the women in my life were in the midst of rediscovering their creative sides, too. Elizabeth had started sketching a mandala every morning. Josie followed an urge to take ecstatic dance classes. Lain knitted, collaged, and scrapbooked. Suzie started piano lessons after a 20-year hiatus. Lu Wi rediscovered sewing. Everyone talked about their experiences with the same tone of awe and confusion: Why now, when I've never been busier? Why painting or singing when I ruled it out years ago? Why am I so obsessed with something so impractical? 

The answers tend to run counter to the mind-set that drives our daily aspirations. We need these creative adventures that are not marketable, not ambitious, not linked to recognition. We do them for the sake of exhilaration, for the sake of feeling alive, for the sake of love. These tender, often awkward and scary forays into play allow us to thumb our noses at the modern inclination to produce and be efficient. We declare, "I am doing this only because it feeds me." As therapist and author Jennifer Freed, Ph.D., explains, "Women often return to the things they abandoned in pursuit of fame, likability, or recognition. From the get-go, these activities are not about exterior measurements." 

Like a spiritual retreat, creative play opens us to fresh energy and wider, richer ways of knowing as it brings purpose and direction to our lives. When we experience something not for any gain or planned outcome but for the love of the process, we live life at its most mysterious and lusty -- the very qualities that often get squeezed out of our busy schedules. To guide you on your creative journey, I've shared a few ground rules that have helped me. Use them to create a life that reflects a mature, potent, and soul-satisfying blend of desire -- rather than accomplishments alone.