Years ago, while working with a client named Trisha who wanted more meaning in her life, I heard myself utter a simple phrase: "addition by subtraction." That phrase not only influenced our work together, but also changed my coaching philosophy. 

Looking at Trisha's situation, I saw that her desire for more meaning stemmed from a need to clear her plate -- not pile more onto it. Since then, I've seen this wisdom hold true for many people. We look to improve our life by adding something: a bigger home, more social engagements, a new passionate hobby. But a high-quality life often has more to do with what we remove. A lot more. 

Think of it this way: Imagine yourself standing at one end of a long corridor. Where you are now reflects your present life -- where you live, who you spend time with, what you do for work. Next, think about your ideal life. How is it different? Do you have more financial security, more space, less stress, or perhaps a romantic partner? With your eye fixed on this improved life at the end of the corridor, now consider this: What do you need to remove from your current life to clear the path to this better life? 

We all have things we need to eliminate, from unhealthy family dynamics to career obstacles that drain our energy. So often, it's simply clutter: the clutter in our heads, in our homes, in our workplaces, and in our schedules. In Trisha's case, at 36, she was anxious to get married and start a family. When we looked at what needed to be removed from her life to accommodate this desire, her schedule quickly became the focus of our attention. Uncomfortable with being alone, she kept herself so busy with social events and late nights at work that she had no time for anything new, let alone a relationship. Before she could add romance to her life (and thus more meaning), Trisha would have to subtract some commitments. 

Use the "addition by subtraction" formula to shape the direction of your own life. With these five steps, you'll be well on your way. 

1. Enlist a Partner
To make this process fun, think of it as a game. Line up someone to play it with -- a friend, family member, or coworker who's committed to supporting you and to changing his or her own life (and sharing that progress with you). You'll find you increase your odds of success dramatically by having the commitment of this "accountability partner." 

2. Make an "Add" List
Before you start subtracting anything from your life, get an idea of what you'd like to add. What will be at the end of your corridor? A new close friend? A better job? Time to create the backyard garden of your dreams? Once you've identified three goals, write them on a piece of paper and put the following statement at the top: May these or something greater come into my life. This will encourage you to remain open to the endless, unexpected possibilities that may result from this exercise. After sharing the list with your partner, hang it where you'll see it and draw inspiration from it daily. 

3. Subtract
Now focus your energy on the subtraction part of the equation. Make a list of three energy zappers that you're ready to let go of. You might want to "subtract" the negativity that comes with hanging around people who complain about everything under the sun but never take action to improve their lot. Or you may need to tackle the mounting debt that's been eating away at your peace of mind. Your list might also include handling the conflicts you've been avoiding with a pushy coworker or a frustrating spouse. 

When another client of mine, Melissa, began to create her list, she found that clutter was her biggest obstacle. Having inherited the hoarding habit from her father (who lived through the Great Depression), she couldn't throw anything away for fear of needing it in the future. Every morning, when she got into her car to head to work, she saw the piles in her junk-filled garage -- old toys that hadn't been used in years, broken suitcases, car parts left over from her husband's foray into auto repair. The sight of it alone left her feeling exhausted. Now that she began to see what she needed to subtract, she was ready to get to work. 

As Melissa discovered, once you identify what you're stumbling over (physically or mentally), you'll feel inspired to clear the way for better things to come. 

4. Take Action
Now break each item on your list down into smaller tasks that you can tackle over the course of a month. Whenever possible, ask for help. If you procrastinate about getting your finances in order, hire an accountant. If you lack the organizational skills to get your once cleaned up, enlist a friend who's great at making order out of chaos. Free up your time by finding a reliable babysitter or by lining up that housekeeper you've been meaning to hire. 

As you work on your list, be on the lookout for mini-miracles. I've seen this time and time again: As soon as we commit to taking the actions that improve our lives, a divine force rallies behind us. My client Chris experienced this when she finally decided to "subtract" the hours she spent on bills and hire a bookkeeper for her business. The next night, at a cast party for her daughter's school play, she was introduced to a woman who had starting a bookkeeping business out of her home. The two agreed to meet the next day -- and it wound up being a perfect match. "It was as if the universe dropped this person at my doorstep," Chris commented at the time. 

5. Greet the Additions
As you begin to complete your list, celebrate your successes. For example, if you cleaned out your attic, invite a few friends to see the space. Go out to dinner with your accountability partner to revel in your mutual achievements. Bask in the huge sense of relief and added energy you feel now that you've checked items off your list. 

Finally, watch to see what shows up in your life. The amazing thing I've learned about the "addition by subtraction" game is that when people make a focused effort to remove things that hurt them, drain their energy, or keep them stuck, they often attract even better gifts than they originally envisioned -- ones that go far beyond their initial goals. It just goes to show: If you make the space, a great life will come.